Who does not need friends to share happy and sad moments, to give meaningful company in times of loneliness and leisure and to lend a helping hand in times of need? Friends treasure each other because of their unique and irreplaceable qualities and because of the emotional expressions that make a relationship intrinsically rewarding and enjoyable. Friends are those who give meaning to life; without them life would be mundane and dull.

Friends are always there for us but sometimes our expectations exceed by leaps and bounds. We fail to realise that we are being useful to each other because we are friends and not friends because we are useful. However, certain relationships that start at work later become more profound, enjoyable and rewarding. I do not mean that friends should refrain from helping each other and doing things. Although both work and friendships can co-exist. Philosophers and scholars have described the most morally superior form of friendship as one which generates its own rewards and which exists because the partners wish each other well for their own sake. Friends spend time with each other and help each other because it is enjoyable to do so and not because it provides access to any sort of privileges.

However, serious troubles start and friendships are spoiled when we start expecting too much and make unrealistic and unreasonable demands on our friends. This can lead to problems and the friendship may become a source of pain rather than providing solace and enjoyment. To avoid this one should always set realistic expectations and before expecting should place oneself in the other person’s shoes.

Friends are also capable of intimate self-disclosure as they are expected to share personal problems and ‘open up’ their lives more fully to each other. They are understood, appreciated and empathised with in return. At the same time one should also be careful in his/her selection of friends as wrong company and even peer pressure at times turn to be unhealthy leading to over spending, an unruly routine, incorrect decisions and neglect of family and close ones. Not only do children but at times elders also lose their decision-making ability and individuality to the influence exerted by their friends. Children compete in unhealthy ways and also in unhealthy activities which can mar their personalities. They fail to understand the motives of their parents behind certain restrictions and are tempted to emulate their friends.

Hence the ideal situation would be where you choose your friends wisely who fulfil your emotional needs, have a positive impact on you and to whom you can relate to on an intellectual level as well. You should also be spending quality time with them and not neglecting your work or family for their sake. At the same time compatibility comes from sharing the same interests and having similar thoughts, ideals and beliefs. Happy friend finding!